by Bob Bergin, Hopewell Junction, N.Y.
Copyright 1996, Bob Bergin

When I think about the weekend
My interests start to peaken
'Cause golfin' is my thing.
But when Monday comes I'm hissin'
'Bout the shots that I've been missin'
Oh, if I only had a swing!

Tee shots flyin' through the airways
And landin' in the fairways
Could make me laugh and sing.
The whole gallery is grinnin'
Tournaments I would be winnin'
If I only had a swing!

Chorus:

Oh my, I'd hit 'em high
Just aim right at the pin.
And if I hit a greenside bunker now and then
I'd take my wedge ... and chip it in!

I'd be serious -- no jokin'
No more shanks, no double bogin'
Long irons hit with zing!
Lofty heights I'd be reachin'
I'd Winged Foot 'n Pebble Beachin'
If I only had a swing!

Chorus:

No slice -- Oh, how nice!
My chance to be a star.
No more triple boges or X's on my card
Only Eeeea....gles, birds and pars!

No more playin' second fiddle.
I'd hit balls right down the middle
Playing Wilson, Lynx or Ping.
Holes-in-one and no more cryin'
In the clubhouse I'd be buyin'
If I only had a swing!

...no slice!
...how nice!
...a swing!