By Jim Corbett
(Copyright 1997)

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who dearly loved to play golf. She was an honorable young lady who meticulously followed the rules of the game; if she hit the ball out of bounds, she always counted her penalty strokes, even though it made her very sad to do so.

One day the princess was playing golf with her favorite golf ball -- it was made of solid gold. (She didn't get much distance with it because it was kind of heavy, but it was very pretty. And a sleeve of those balls would be worth a lot in today's dollars.)

Well, on one particular hole she sliced one pretty badly off the tee and the ball rolled and rolled until it came to a pond, and in it fell with a splash. She knelt by the side of the pond and tried to find her ball, but the water was too dark and deep. And when she realized it was gone, she cried.

While she was crying a homely, squatty, little frog popped its head out of the water and peered at her. Now, the princess thought frogs were disgusting little animals and when she saw him looking up at her she gave a little shudder and glared down at him with disdain. But, very much to her surprise, the frog looked up and said:

The princess was much taken aback by this odd little creature and she was more than a little intrigued by his comment about the prince. They struck up a little conversation and the frog was very curious about why she was crying. The princess explained how her favorite golf ball had gone into the pond as the result of an errant tee shot. Then she asked whether the frog could possibly help by retrieving the ball, of which she was so fond. The frog said:

Well, the princess was pretty sure that she was not going to kiss the frog, but she agreed, with the hope that he would get the ball back for her. And sure enough, the little frog turned around, swam to the bottom of the pond and several moments later brought her golden golf ball to the surface -- there were quite a few golf balls down there, so it took longer than expected to find it. But, he came back, laid the ball in the grass and puckered up, waiting for his reward, only to see the princess, once again, burst into tears.

The frog was confused and questioned her regarding her unexpected behavior. She explained that, while she was very happy and grateful that her favorite golf ball had been recovered, she was now very sad about the stroke she was going to have to take as the result of her bad shot. The frog suggested that if she was that upset about the stroke, the solution was simply to not count it.

Well, the princess was shocked at such a thought and explained that she had never taken a stroke without accurately accounting for it in her score. The frog rolled his rather bulbous eyes and said:

The princess made one of those "tsk" sounds that people sometimes make when they are thoroughly disgusted and she walked away. But, as she was leaving she quietly wondered to herself how many strokes she would save if she did follow the advice of the frog. Those penalty strokes really add up, you know!

During her game the next day, the princess was once again teeing off on the hole where the frog's pond was, and once again she sliced her tee shot. This time, however, when she approached the pond, her ball was sitting in the exact same spot the frog had put it the day before and the frog was waiting next to the ball, smiling.

At first, the princess was delighted that her ball had not gone into the pond, but then she became suspicious that the frog had altered the location of her ball. She asked the frog if he had moved the ball, because if so, she needed to account for her penalty stroke. But the frog gave her a big wink and said:

So the princess took her second shot and moved on. Once again though, she found herself thinking about how much her score would improve if she just didn't have to count all of those pesky penalty strokes. And in a way, she was sort of grateful to her new little friend.

Well, soon it became a regular event that the princess would hit her tee shot over by the frog's pond. And no matter whether she hit it hard or easy, high or low, on the ground or in the air, when she approached the pond, the ball was always in the exact same spot and the frog was next to it waiting for her arrival.

And each time the princess arrived at the pond for her next shot, the frog would try to convince her that it was perfectly okay to not count her penalty strokes if she mis-hit her shot. He would say things like:

And he would tell her:

Little by little she was becoming converted to his way of thinking. What difference did it make if she ignored a few bad shots? After all, it's just a game. Right?

Well, one day the princess arrived at the pond and she announced to the frog that she had come to the conclusion that he was right, indeed. She was no longer going to count any penalty strokes for bad hits off the tees. In fact, she was even thinking about eliminating all strokes from her score except the strokes that she really liked. Having said that, she leaned down and gave the frog a big kiss. As she kissed him, however, there was a big POOF!, and a flash of light and a cloud of smoke!

When the smoke cleared away, the princess uncovered her eyes. And standing right in front of her, where there had once been a homely, squatty little frog she now saw a ... well, a homely, squatty little man.

He was shabbily dressed and he carried a set of old-fashioned golf clubs over his shoulder. The princess rubbed her eyes in disbelief, and she asked, "Who are you?" And the homely, squatty little man replied:

What a surprise! Mulligan went on to explain how he had been turned into a frog by an evil enchantress because he claimed he had beaten her in a round of golf, after rehitting every one of his tee shots. The enchantress was such a bad sport about the whole thing that she cast a spell on him. But now he was free from her evil spell and anxious to get back out onto the links.

The princess and Mulligan fell madly in love and were soon married. They shared many things in common, but especially their total disregard for the rules of golf. They lived happily ever after and played to very low, but wildly inaccurate handicaps.