By Mr. Golf Etiquette
(Copyright 1997)

Welcome to the Golf Etiquette Quiz by Mr. Golf Etiquette. The quiz will be an opportunity for you to test yourself in the wonderful world of golf etiquette. When you have completed the quiz click below to see the answers -- by the way, take the quiz before you look at the answers (honesty is an important part of golf etiquette).

1) What should you be careful for when you step onto the green?

• a) Goose droppings
• b) To keep an eye out for loose change that you might pick up
• c) Look at the faces of the other players, make sure those are the same people you started with (make sure you've chipped onto the right green)
• d) Look for ball markers to make sure you don't step on someone's ball path.

2) What should you do if you hit your ball toward another group of people?

• a) Quickly hand your club to another player in your group
• b) Call your lawyer on your cell phone
• c) Announce to the other members of your group that you'll be taking another Mulligan
• d) Holler "Fore!" so the unsuspecting players can take cover.

3) What should you carry in your pocket every time you play golf?

• a) (If you're under a 20 handicap) A rabbit's foot
• b) (If you're over a 20 handicap) The entire rabbit
• c) A list of your favorite excuses
• d) A ball mark repair tool for repairing marks on the green and 2 ball markers

4) What should you do if you lose your golf ball out on the course?

• a) Spend all day looking for it, even if it means holding up every group behind you
• b) Drop another ball from the secret compartment in your pants leg and yell to the other members of your group, "Oh , here it is. And it's still in bounds!"
• c) Break several clubs and destroy the property of the golf course in a fit of rage and ruin everyone else's day
• d) Look for a couple of quick minutes, take a drop, count the appropriate number of strokes and move on

5) When someone in your group is hitting off the tee, what should you be doing?

• a) Take the opportunity to eat a few potato chips and crumple the bag up when you're putting it back into your pocket
• b) Point out to the others in your group some of the many things the hitter is doing wrong in his swing
• c) Shout, "Oh, look! A bald eagle!" right when he's at the top of his back swing
• d) Stand quietly out of view and watch where his ball lands

6) What is the proper thing to do after your fairway shot has dislodged a huge divot?

• a) Stick it in the ear of the guy who yelled, "Oh, look! A bald eagle!"
• b) If it went farther than the ball, blame the divot and kick it up and down the fairway for a little while
• c) Focus your attention further down the fairway and say, "Divot? What divot? I didn't see a divot."
• d) Retrieve the dislodged divot and replace it in the hole and press it down firmly with your foot

7) After your groups has completed putting out, what should you do next?

• a) Take a few minutes to re-practice the 40-footer that you missed for double bogey
• b) Take a few more minutes to re-practice the 10- footer you missed for triple bogey
• c) Stand around the middle of the green and tally up your shots and mark it down on your score card
• d) Replace the flag in the cup and quickly and quietly move on to the next tee.

8) What should you do if someone in your group is having a terrible day and really struggling in his game?

• a) Double the bet
• b) Ask him what is handicap REALLY is
• c) Give him pointers after every shot on his grip, his stance, his swing, and his follow through
• d) Double the bet

9) What should you do if you encounter a slow group playing ahead of you?

• a) Send a warning shot over their heads with a Big Bertha
• b) Stand on the tee with the other members of your group and shout in unison, "HURRY UP YOU MORONS!"
• c) Lasso them and drag them off the course kicking and screaming behind an electric golf cart
• d) Patiently play behind them until such time that you can courteously request permission to play through.

10) What is the best way to promote the principles of good golf etiquette?

• a) Make your opponents take extra strokes each time they do something you don't like
• b) Ridicule your friends when they don't get it right
• c) Wear a Mr. Golf Etiquette hat when you're playing
• d) Through your own exemplary behavior out on the course

To see the answers to the Golf Etiquette Quiz Click here. Good luck!