"The Road to Golfer's Hell"

by: Stu Saunders

Spitting Red Man on the Tee,
Throwing clubs up in a tree,
Drinking beers like they are free,
Does this sound like you or me?

Crush a stogie on the green,
Always make a cussing scene
When a par four is fourteen,
Call the local Pro a Queen.

Endless searches for lost balls,
Find a tree when Nature calls,
Stomping feet and scratching butt
In the line of someone's putt.

Fudge a little on the score,
Never think to holler "Fore!",
Do all these and do them well
To take the road to Golfer's Hell.

In Golfer's Hell it's triple bogies
Your game smells like those dead stogies,
No one breaks a hundred and two,
And the tree squirts back at you!